Her Morning Elegance - inspiration for film & animation students

A friend sent me this link and I have become somewhat obsessed with the idea of using the concept with my Diploma students. So simple, very cheap to make, and what fabulous results! Check it out.

Oddsox Episode Seven

Here's the latest episode of Oddsox. It has some interesting features about Cornwall Film Festival, as well as the usual mixture of odd things and music. Enjoy.

Dog Bite Film Crew

Dog Bite are a Cornwall based film and production company. They have worked on many film projects within and outside the county. They are an amazing young talent, with a fab collection of film-making equipment, from cameras, lighting and sound (and they did all their training here in Cornwall - a real inspiration to students). The best thing is, they are happy to work with schools (and have recently provided training to teachers at MBS using an OB van), helping students and teachers alike gain experience within the medium of film.

Get in touch with them here:
www.dogbitefilmcrew.com/

I managed to grab a quick interview with the crew whilst at the Cornwall Film Festival. And here it is, for your listening pleasure:

The Big Pitcher

The Cornwall Film Festival was a resounding success. I managed to catch a talk by British writer Jon Ronson about his book, The Men Who Stare at Goats, now a Hollywood feature film starring George Clooney. I also got the chance to watch the film and partake in a Q&A session with the writer after the screening. Brilliant! Next year I will try and organise a school trip to the festival (and I urge all you Creative & Media teachers to do the same). It's a wonderful opportunity for you and your students to really experience the film industry first-hand.

The best part of the festival for me, was entering and winning The Big Pitcher competition. I had 2 minutes to pitch my film idea to a live audience (very nerve-racking), who then voted on the winners. I received a £100 towards the cost of making my film, which will be screened at next year's festival.

Here's a rough outline of how I pitched my film:

My film is called Chicken and is a coming-of-age tale about a 16 year old lad on the brink of sexual awakening. One morning he wakes up to discover he has lost his voice, and can only make the "bwark" of a chicken.

The film is a lyrical lesson in life, love & loss. A fowl fantasy of a fairtyale, with our hero learning that actions speak louder than words.

After years of being teased for being a chicken (especially with girls), his worst fear is realised - it seems he's actually turning into one.

When all he can utter is a "cluck, cluck,cluck", how's he ever going to score his first lay? Our hero has to impress his girl & learn that a person is better judged by what he does rather than what he says.

So how does our boy finally catch his chick? He's going to have to hatch a plan.

Chicken - think Metamorphosis meets Stand By Me. It's sure to be An Affair to Remember.

I was thrilled to win and I can't wait to start making the film. Just gotta write the thing first! If anyone has any ideas about how I should go about this, then please, get in touch.

Get into Character

Taught a low ability (hate that term - does the students no favours) year 9 English group today. We've been reading Stone Cold for what seems like forever and the students are keen to finish the book. Problem is, most of them are self-conscious when reading aloud to the whole group, stumbling over words and often giving up - and this slows the whole process down.

Hmmmm... what to do? Then I had a brainwave - ask the students to read the story in thick Scottish accents. I demonstrated what I meant by reading a paragraph in my own best Glaswegian, asked for a volunteer to do the same, and was beseiged by eager readers.

All of a sudden, the classroom was transformed into a hub of confident readers. They ALL read far faster than usual (even through the giggles) and far less mistakes were made. It seems that reading in character lessened the nerves, the students were no longer themselves, but transported into the pages of the book. And they loved every minute.

Best thing was, for the rest of the day, every time I passed one of the students in the corridor, they greeted me with a cheery Scottish "A'right Miss? How zit goan?"

Next week: Welsh. I'd better go practice.

Technical Theatre Terms and Meanings

What a day! Year 10 Diploma from morning to night and some excellent student research produced (eventually). I also developed an ability to think on my feet, when the lesson I had planned on blogging fell apart due to lack of internet connection. (Note to self - always, ALWAYS have a contingency plan). On the plus side - I made good use of students as resources - they taught each other how to use certain applications (and thoroughly enjoyed imparting their knowledge). I encourage you all to do the same - it sure supports the old AfL.

I'm mentoring the technical theatre team. Today we had to learn the correct terminology to use when describing lighting and sound equipment used in theatrical productions. When I say 'we', I mean 'we'. I have no prior knowledge in this area so worked hand-in-hand with the students to discover more. Illuminating (pardon the pun!)

Here's a link to a wonderful website we stumbled upon that had lots of really useful information:

www.theatrecrafts.com/glossary/glossary.shtml

One of the best features of this site is that students have to know the term before they discover the meaning. In other words - they have to work for it - and are all the more chuffed with themselves when they succeed. Give it a go...

Cornwall Film Festival 2009

Cornwall Film Festival has taken place in Falmouth for the past 8 years, and this year promises to be the best yet. If you're looking for an opportunity to learn more about film - this is the place for you.

From professional development workshops to premiere film screenings, Cornwall Film Festival offers teachers and students alike, the chance to experience what life is like working in one of the most exciting creative and media industries.

I spoke with Donna Anton, festival director, to find out more about what's going on in 2009. Listen to my interview here:


Tickets for ALL screenings, workshops, lectures and events are available from the Phoenix Cinema Box Office.

Phone: 01326 313072
Single Event ticket - £6/£5 conc
Day pass (Sat or Sun) - £15/£12 conc
Weekend pass - £35/£28 conc
Student Weekend Pass - £25

You can find out more about the films and events by logging on to:
www.cornwallfilmfestival.com

I'm particularly interested in The Big Pitcher (Sunday 15 Nov 7:15-8:30, UCF Woodlane Lecture Theatre):

"Now in its fourth year, and still not banned, this wild and chaotic festival favourite returns to give desperate filmmakers the opportunity to pitch for £100 awards to make their next great epic. The catch is that they have to do it in a maximum of two minutes in front of a live audience - who are both judge and jury. Hosted once again by trail-blazing production company o-region, the event will also feature the world premieres of last year's survivors ('winners', we mean 'winners')".

I'm gonna try my luck and pitch my own idea for a film (details to follow - when I've actually come up with an idea). I've managed to blag myself a press-pass for the weekend so there's no excuse not to give it a go. I'll be filming the whole thing for my blog... so watch this space - or - come and join me. What have you got to lose? (Except your dignity).

Tumblr Warning

The Enquiring Minds people over at FutureLab suggested the Tumblr website as a suitable place for students to create a 'learning log'. I agreed, and decided to create my own profile to use as a model for the students in my year 10 Creative & Media Diploma class. Easy and very useful... or so I thought.

After creating my profile, I looked around the site some more and -HORROR - found some very bad language used by the hosts (I suppose in order to 'reach out and connect' with 'the kids'). Unecessary (and very lazy in my opinion).

Having taught year 11 Creative and Media Diploma students today, we all agreed that a blog was an excellent way of keeping a record of knowledge gained and demonstrating what we had learnt - but - we used a far more reliable website: www.blogger.com.

All Diploma students at CCS have now created their own blogs ( and enjoyed every second) - so get creative - encourage reflection - just be careful where you choose to blog!

Over and out.

Preparation, Planning & Production - Digital Tools

I have fallen in love with the FutureLab information pack. It really is a great place to turn to to find ideas for the Creative & Media Diploma.

Here are another set of online resources (again - quoted directly from the pack), to help you plan amazing lessons and motivate your students:

Mindmapping Tools

www.mind42.com

A collaborative browser-based online mind mapping tool. It allows you to manage ideas, whether working individually or as a group.

One use for it: Brainstorm and document ideas as a whole class.

Skrbl
www.skrbl.com

Skrbl is an online resource which allows users to type notes, sketch drawings, upload pictures and share files.

One use for it: As a digital repository for a 'patchwork of knowledge' activity.

Tumblr
www.tumblr.com

Tumblr is a variation of a blog that favours short-form, mixed-media posts rather than longer text-based posts. A resource for capturing information from other sites. Tumblr allows users to gather information and to share it with others who are working in the same area - without providing explanation or commentary.

One use for it: To gather information and share it with others who are working. Could also be used as a learning log.

Wikispaces
www.wikispaces.com

A visual web editor for student web authoring. Wikis are very easy to create, use and edit, and are ideal for the collaborative creation of text documents.

One use for it: Students read and review ano another's work by leaving comments or amendments where necessary.

Google SketchUp (This comes highly recommended by my 14 year old son. He's just created a 3D skate park that looks fantastic - very professional - and yes, I am soooo proud!)

sketchup.google.com

Google SketchUp is a powerful, but easy to learn 3D software tool that is great for the conceptual stages of any design project. It's free to download and use and models can be saved locally or uploaded and shared in the online 3D warehouse.

One use for it: Students re-design an element of their school - the playground, scvience classroom or common room.

Survey Monkey
www.surveymonkey.com

Online tool to quickly create and publish custom surveys and then view results graphically and in real time.

One use for it: Students create a questionnaire and distribute it across the school.

Vanilla
www.getvanilla.com

Vanilla is an open-source and multi-lingual discussion forum for the web.

One use for it: Students communicate with people external to the school to help with their enquiry.

Communicating, Presenting and Evaluating - Digital Tools

Had an interesting subject specialism session today learning about the Enquiring Minds programme. What an amazing concept in preparing students for study on the Creative & Media Diploma.

You can find out more about the programme by following this link:

www.enquiringminds.org.uk

If you want to get involved in the Enquiring Minds programme, email your questions to:

enquiringminds@futurelab.org.uk

Encourage your students to:

• communicate
• present
• evaluate

I've lifted the following words and online resources directly from the Futurelab information pack - to save you time (you can thank me later).

As FutureLab explains, 'each example has a web link and suggests a potential use'. Or you could log straight onto the website page for more information and ideas by following this link:

www.enquiringminds.co.uk/try_it/digital_tools

Audacity
www.audacity.sourceforge.net

Audacity is free, open source software for recording and editing sounds. Use it to record live audio or to cut, copy, splice and mix sounds together.

One use for it: Students create a radio programme to present their findings or an audio advert to encourage people to come to an event.

Chew TV
www.chewtv.com

Chew TV is a broadband television channel run by young people for young people.

One use for it: Students can create their own video ffrom the results of their projects and submit to the website to share with other young people.

Create-A-Scape
www.createascape.org.uk

A free resource for schools to create their own mediascapes. A mediascape is a digital layer of sounds over a real outdoor location - which is accessed via a PDA and optional GPS.

One use for it: Existing students create a tour of the school for new starters.

Global Ideas Bank
www.globalideasbank.org

Global Ideas Bank is a website to which anyone can add their own ideas for a brighter future, which other visitors can then vote on.

One use for it: Students could come up with an invention designed to make childhood better in the future, and add it to the bank.

SlideShare
www.slideshare.net

SlideShare is an online space that enables users to upload presentations (including PowerPoint presentations, pdfs and Open Office documents) to share with others.

One use for it: If students are creating a PowerPoint presentation to share the findings of their enquiry this is a good opportunity to extend their audience and get their work up on the web.

ToonDoo
www.toondoo.com

An online tool for creating short comic strips. It's quick and easy to use, and includes different styles of backgrounds and characters. Flexible enough to create a variety of different styles of comic. Users add their own speech, thoughts and captions.

One use for it: This provides an inventive and fun way of presenting the results of students investigations.

P.P.P.Panic...

So I just received an email from CD at HDS detailing the year 10 Creative & Media Diploma sessions. I'm in charge of the 'Drama: Lights & Sound' group. This involves the following:

• lighting rigs
• colours
• stage-planning
• dimensions
• communication with actors
• working with the technician at the Acorn theatre
• memos & meetings with the technician
• podcasting
• jingles
• sound-effects (garage band)

One word: PANIC. Why? Because I now have to learn about the following:

• lighting rigs
• colours
• stage-planning
• dimensions
• communication with actors
• working with the technician at the Acorn theatre
• memos and meetings with the technician
• podcasting
• jingles
• sound-effects (garage band)

I'm not scared... much.

My first podcasting workshop with the group is scheduled for Wednesday 11 November.

See you on the other side.

Use your voice.

When people tell me I'm mad to want to work with children, I like to show them this. It soon shuts them up. What do you think?

Diploma Watch

OCR release a monthly news letter dealing with issues surrounding the Diploma. It also offers useful contact points and information about Diploma specific training. Check it out.

You can join the Diploma Watch e-community by sending your email details to the following address: diplomawatch@ocr.org.uk

Teachit - for all your English and Media needs

This website is great for teaching ideas and resources. You can use some of the lesson plans and activities free of charge, but to get the most out of it, you need to pay a yearly subscription. Believe me - it's worth it. I've already used some of the whizzy things in my starters and the kids LOVED it.

If you can't afford to fork out for it yourself (and let's face it, the training bursary is pretty skimpy), then consider asking your school to join (if they aren't members already) - it could earn you some brownie points (worked for me). Alternatively, club together with the trainees in your cohort and simply share the login and password.

www.teachit.co.uk

Creative and Media - useful websites

I found this fab index of useful websites and thought it would be good to share. You can use these sites (and share them with your students) to gain a better understanding of the creative and media industries.

BBC online training courses
The BBC has established a comprehensive list of online courses initially designed for its staff that are now free to all. These courses cover everything from the basic use of a DV camera, through glossaries of production terms, to how to approach post-production practices.
www.bbctraining.com/omlineCourses.asp

British Film Institute (BFI)
An excellent archive of film material, extracts and links to their own BFI publications, and a host of other quality material.
www.bfi.org.uk/

The UK Film Council
This website has a host of invaluable information on all aspects of the British film industry, and on areas such as film funding.
www.ukfilmcouncil.org.uk

Screen International
This media magazine covers a range of film-related topics.
www.screendaily.com/

EMI
The EMI website is very useful for student investigation. The information provided enables the student to create a profile of this media institution. It is updated regularly and discusses at length the implication of digital initiatives for the music industry.
www.emimusic.co.uk
www.emigroup.com/About/Digital+music/Digital+milestones.htm

Trifle Gathering

Trifle Gathering are a Penryn based theatre group who have just completed 2 sell-out tours in Cornwall and the South West. Their act is hard to describe and impossible to forget: part pantomime, vaguely vaudeville, combining cabaret and the carnivalesque, Trifle Gathering have established themselves as masters in their field, delighting audiences young and old.



I’d just finished writing a scheme of work for year 11 diploma students on Exploring Group Performance and thought this would be an ideal opportunity for them to see a great group performance in the flesh.

So, I arranged a school trip (including the usual permission letters and risk assessment) to take the students to see the final performance on the Trifle Gathering tour.

The deputy head agreed to drive the school mini-bus (very generous considering it was the last Friday before half-term), and so we journeyed together to Callington to watch the cabaret.

The show involved audience participation, and I was called onto the stage, along with the deputy head and one of the students, to play a game that left us all with chocolate smeared across our faces. This was a great opportunity to build trust and strengthen my rapport with the students and showed them that their teachers are willing to get involved and don't mind (occasionally) making fools of themselves. After the performance I arranged for the students to go backstage and meet the actors and technicians. They were able to interview the director, writer and actors and learn more about what is involved in creating a piece of theatre and taking it on tour.

Trifle Gathering organise acting workshops and I have arranged for a full-day session with the lead actress after half-term. She will visit the school and work with the students as they plan and prepare their own group perfromance. As many of the students were nervous at the prospect of appearing onstage, meeting the company was a great way to reassure them they have nothing to worry about. They are now all excited and busy coming up with ideas for their own show. Result.

If you'd like to find out more about Trifle Gathering, or arrange a workshop for your students, then log onto: www.triflegatheringproductions.co.uk

Radio Campaign

As part of my specialist subject Tuesday session I was set the challenge of working in a small group to create a product that 'celebrates and promotes 10 years of Cornwall SCITT'. My group chose to record a radio advert (and I put on my best posh for the voice-over).

See what you think of the final results by clicking here:


Our advert uses music, sound effects and voice-overs to create a textured quality intended to grab the listener's attention. Copyright became an issue as we chose a song by Candi Staton produced by EMI. I contacted EMI to request permission to use the track, but have still had no response. We have subsequently discovered a brilliant website that has lots of music available to use in projects such as ours. If I was to teach a podcasting lesson, then I'd let my students explore this site, preventing any breach of copyright laws. Here's the link to the site: www.freeplaymusic.com

If you need to contact EMI to request clearance for using one of their songs, here's where to go: www.emimusicsample.co.uk/Sampleclearance/guide3BOD.htm

There are several websites offering free sound effects, here are some of them:
www.a1freesoundeffects.com
www.stonewashed.net/sfx.html
www.pacdv.com/sounds
www.partnersinrhyme.com

Fact: politicians are not allowed to advertise on the radio because of the subliminal nature of the medium!

If you want to find out more about anything radio, log onto Ofcom's website. Ofcom is the controlling organistaion of commercial radio, the website contains details about the industry, produces regular data updates on current developments and deals with customer complaints. It acts as a regulatory body for the radio industry:

www.ofcom.ork.uk/radio

Matt's mac training

Having no experience working with Macs, I thought it wise to get some training (especially as the students have used them in almost every creative and media diploma lesson I've observed so far.) Matt Townsend is the media technician at Mounts Bay school and agreed to spend a couple of hours teaching me how to use some of the software. I was particularly interested in learning more about the 'final cut pro' programme, as the SCITT people having given me my own digital movie camera. The idea is I film myself teaching and learn how to improve my practice by watching the video back. Horror. I need to learn how to edit the footage - it's a vanity thing. Also, I want to be able to teach my students film and editing techniques in order to help with their own diploma projects.

Here's what I learned (in bullet points):

• to import film from your camera use Mpeg streamclip to convert your footage into Dot.DV (or DV or MOV)
• open final cut pro and click on file
• click on import
• click on files (command I)
• If you've saved your work to the desktop (the easiest way apparently) then click on desktop then click on choose and it'll drop your film into the browser window.
• to cut your film - in your viewer window - press 'I' where you want your clip to start, then 'O' where you want the clip to end
• drag your clip to the timeline
• command R = render (when the red line appears on the timeline). Important, especially if you've changed something, like adding a kaleidoscope effect.
• click on file
• click on export
• click on the format you want
• save to anywhere you like

Hope this is of use to you, dear reader. I'm off to do some filming to get the ball rolling. In the meantime, you can learn more about editing in final cut pro via this clip:

How to upload music files and podcasts to your blog

I've been working on a radio show called Oddsox for the past few weeks. The programme is broadcast on The Source fm, a community radio station that serves the Falmouth & Penryn area in Cornwall. I hope to gain new skills in presenting and using broadcast equipment, and so far have made good use of my newly aquired dictaphone. You can often find me pounding the streets of falmouth, waving my voice recorder in people's faces and asking obscure questions to use in various feature slots on the show.

I'll pass my new broadcasting knowledge, skills and experience on to my students: encouraging them to explore different media technologies (and rise to new challenges).

The creative and media diploma aims to get learners involved in projects across the creative industries. So my task as a teacher is to provide opportunities that will enhance students' understanding of the creative and media world.

Today’s goal is to learn how to upload audio files to blogger. Over to YouTube to teach me (and you) how to do it.



So, by watching this video, I have learnt that in order for me to successfully upload the podcast of my radio show, I need to sign up to this website: www.divshare.com

This site allows me to upload my audio files (including music and podcasts) and transfer them to blogger. It's free to sign up and should help me to make my blog more interesting. I'm off to sign up now... so watch this space...

Honesty is the best policy?

Using my new found video embedding skills, I thought I would share this highly amusing example of "how not to get on the right side of your students' parents". Here we have the evidence to support my theory that in order to teach, you must maintain a sense of humour at all times. Enjoy.

'Pernickety' film project.

One of the skills I will bring to teaching on the creative and media diploma is acting. I have worked as an actress on stage and screen and I'm currently working on a film project for a new writer/director. I will be writing and delivering a unit for my year 11 diploma students entitled Exploring Group performance, and I'm lucky enough to have good contacts in the world of theatre who are happy to visit the school and deliver workshops.


Last year I was involved in a project that saw me acting in a short film by new writer Holly Wicks. Follow this link to read about 'Pernickety' in production and see me put my words into action.

Wicks' Word Web: PERNICKETY DAY 3

You can find out more about the film by joining the Pernickety Facebook group: http://www.facebook.com/photo_search.php?oid=37537091240&view=user#/group.php?gid=37537091240

Visual Diary

As part of my teacher training for the creative and media diploma, I have been asked to keep a Visual Diary. The purpose of this is to reflect on my learning throughout the course. Each term I will be expected to use a different approach or technology, thereby expanding my repertoire of technical skills.

This term, I have decided to use my blog as evidence that I am improving my specialist subject knowledge and developing my ability to use ICT effectively to support teaching and learning.

If you'd like to create your own blog, but are unsure of how to go about writing posts, here's a link to a fab website that should give you a few web-writing ideas.

www.webwritingthatworks.com/DResourcesSOYOU04webeditingr.htm

Embedding You Tube clips into your blog

OK, so I've found some interesting clips on You Tube that will not only help with my own learning, but could be useful to my students on the Creative and Media Diploma. The only problem is, I have no idea how to get the clips from the You Tube website to my blog. Hmmmm. What to do? Let's see if You Tube can help me?




Success! You can learn how to do this too by watching the video I've embedded here - or - you may find it easier to follow the step-by-step instructions below:

1, Log onto your blog
2, Open another tab and log onto You Tube
3, Find the video clip you want
4, Locate the 'embed' text box
5, select the code in the box and right click
6, Select 'copy'
7, Go back to your blog and click 'new post'
8, Select the 'edit html' tab
9, Right click inside the text box and select paste
10, Select 'publish post', et voila - you have successfully embedded your clip. Easy.

New Beginnings

Last Friday I had an interview. Horrid things, interviews. I arrived half an hour early and was asked to wait in a busy reception. Sitting on a plastic chair, I could almost hear the sound of my heart beating faster. After a long and painful thirty minutes, a lovely lady led me into a small room furnished with nothing more than (another) plastic chair, desk and clock.

"You can do the paperwork here", she smiled, handing me a pen and pointing to the clock. "The maths test should take 30 minutes, as should the literacy test. We'll come and get you in an hour. Good luck".

Brilliant. That's just what you want before an interview - exams. I sweated through both papers with my heart in my mouth until a knock at the door broke my concentration.

"Finished? Good. Ready for your interview? Let's go".

The interview was supposed to take half an hour. I managed to waffle on for about 90 minutes.

"We'll let you know by the end of next week", they said. Excruciating... another wait. I hate waiting. But the good news? I got in. Success.

So this is what I'm going to do be doing; after working as a teacher in the adult education sector for the past 3 years I've decided to retrain in order to work with younger people. I'm rather excited about the new Creative and Media Diploma, and as it has only been running since September 2008, I thought it would be good to get involved now.

The acceptance letter I received from the college included an 'initial target-setting sheet'. These are the targets I must meet before I begin training in September:

• Acquire some secondary school observation experience before July
• Observe KS3 English and GCSE Media and observe diploma teaching at school or college
• Send in a report (max 2 sides A4) when complete
• Log on to some teaching websites for ideas on schemes of work. eg. www.dcsf.gov.uk/14-19 www.diploma-support.com www.qca.org.uk www.skillset.org www.lluk.org www.learningandthinking.com
• Look at functional skills in English, Maths and ICT
• Learn more about GCSE Media
• Look at Every Child Matters agenda and SEAL at www.teachernet.gov.uk and Creative and Media Diploma links
• Practise the numeracy, literacy, and ICT skills tests at www.tda.gov.uk

So I have my work cut out. I'd best get started.

Learning

After a while you learn the subtle difference
Between holding a hand and chaining a soul,
And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning.
And company doesn't mean security.
And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts,
And presents aren't promises -
And you begin to accept your defeats
With your head up and eyes open
And with the grace of an adult, not the grief of a child.
And you learn to build all your roads on today
Because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for your plans.
After a while you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much.
So plant your own garden and decorate your own soul -
instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.
And you will learn that you really can endure,
That you really do have worth.
So live to learn and know yourself.
In doing so, you will learn to live.


This poem was passed on to me from a very good friend - we aren't sure who the words belong to - but the sentiment is for everybody.

Procrastination

If you have something really important to do, why not put it off for a little bit longer and create an album cover for your imaginary band? (Thank you Facebook). Here's how you do it...

1 - Go to "wikipedia." Hit "random"
or click http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random
The first random wikipedia article you get is the name of your band.

2 - Go to "Random quotations"
or click http://www.quotationspage.com/random.php3
The last four or five words of the very last quote of the page is the title of your first album.

3 - Go to flickr and click on "explore the last seven days"
or click http://www.flickr.com/explore/interesting/7days
Third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.

4 - Use photoshop/paintbox or similar to put it all together.

Here's one I made earlier:



Have fun...

The Youth of Today

How's your day been? Mine was spent at Mount Hawke skate park with my son, Oscar and his mates. I lay on the big comfy sofas in the rec room reading, but mostly I just listened in on the conversations going on around the pool table. The coin mechanism was broken so all games were free. A tournament ensued. Here is a sample of the boy-talk I was particularly taken with:

1st boy: Is it true you keep a photo of your mom, naked, in your locker?

Chorus: Snigger

1st boy: Cos I heard you keep a photo of your mom, naked, in your locker. Is that true?

2nd boy: No... f**k-off! As if I do!!

Chorus: Snigger louder

1st boy: Oh right. It's just that that was what someone told me. You know. That you keep a photo of your mom, naked, in your locker.

Chorus: More sniggering.

2nd boy: No - I keep a photo of YOUR mom in my locker, and she's naked and bending over my bike!

Chorus: Fall About in Hysterics

1st boy: F**k off!!

You can see why I want to work with the little cherubs can't you?